{"id":138,"date":"2024-04-24T21:14:59","date_gmt":"2024-04-24T21:14:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ascjcapstone.com\/spring-2024\/dfcain\/?page_id=138"},"modified":"2024-05-23T16:01:10","modified_gmt":"2024-05-23T16:01:10","slug":"138-2","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/ascjcapstone.com\/spring-2024\/dfcain\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"\n

With no instruction manual for growing old, gay older adults have carved their own paths into new models of later life.<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Meet the men of Maison d\u2019\u00catre, a household that defies tradition, embraces chosen family and serves as a microcosm of the unique challenges and joys of being a gay elder.<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
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When Richard Beard was in his early 20s, he made a promise to himself that he swore to never break: to commit suicide at 30.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI saw what older gays were treated like,\u201d Beard said. \u201cIt was a dead end at 30. It was pathetic after 30. It was those creepy guys that I<\/em> dodged. And so I never wanted to be those guys.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Thankfully, Beard broke his promise.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not only has he made it past 30, but all the way to 74. Now, he resides in a kitschy home in Silver Lake with his longtime friends, 77-year-old Jim Kelly and 67-year-old Jerry FitzGerald, who splits time between the home and a personal apartment. All three men came out as gay in a pre-Stonewall America, and have since watched from the front row as gay rights have leapt forward over the decades. Throughout the heyday of gay liberation, they fought, partied, cried, loved, lost and ended up here.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now, the trio enjoys a quieter life. They pass their days with their two poodles, Kento and Horgos, curled up around them, and they find fulfillment in music, dance, gardening, poetry and cooking. All three of them are single, but together they form a loving family home. With little example to follow, Kelly \u2014 like Beard \u2014 never imagined making it to this point when he was younger.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

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Richard<\/em> Beard, 74.<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhen I was growing up, my dad, who was not at all accepting of my homosexuality, used to point out gay people and say, \u2018There\u2019s only three places you can end up: that\u2019s in the jail, the nuthouse or in the gutter. And I\u2019ve been all those places, actually,\u201d Kelly said, chuckling. \u201cBut I did elude those fates for the most part, as ultimate fates.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Jim Kelly, 77.<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n
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Kelly has owned this house since 1992. Stuffed full of artwork, books and other memorabilia accumulated throughout these men’s lives, the eclectic home is bursting with stories waiting to be retold. Each trinket carries a unique history and emotional significance of its own, which the trio can eagerly and encyclopedically recite on command.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They call the house \u2014 and their collective, because the two are inseparable \u2014 \u201cMaison d’\u00catre,” a play on the French \u201craison d\u2019\u00eatre,\u201d meaning \u201creason to be,\u201d and \u201cmaison,\u201d meaning house. To Kelly, Maison d\u2019\u00catre, its inhabitants and the group of friends who orbit it are his purpose.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI own the house outright, own the automobiles, pay the taxes, pay the utilities and keep the life going,\u201d Kelly said. \u201cMy friends are welcome to live here because I love them, and they are my family. And I take care of them because they take care of me too.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

Getting old isn\u2019t easy for anyone. In addition to physical deterioration, aging brings complex mental challenges \u2014 most prominently social isolation and loneliness. For gay older adults, the typical trials of aging can be heightened by a number of factors.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Although the U.S. census has never attempted to measure it, reports estimate that there are currently around 3 million LGBTQ adults over age 50 living in America, with that number expected to grow to around 7 million by 2030. According to a report from Services & Advocacy for GLBT Elders (SAGE)<\/a>, LGBTQ older adults are twice as likely to live alone, twice as likely to be single, and three to four times less likely to have children than heterosexual older adults.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“My friends are welcome to live here because I love them, and they are my family<\/strong>.”<\/em><\/p>\u2013 Jim Kelly<\/cite><\/blockquote><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

A 2011 U.S. national health survey<\/a> focusing on LGBTQ older adults found that 59% of LGBTQ older people felt a lack of companionship, and 53% felt isolated from others. In comparison, a 2018 national survey conducted by AARP<\/a> found that about one-third of Americans over the age of 45 were lonely.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Research has shown that loneliness and isolation are associated with poor physical health, with some experts equating the health risks of prolonged isolation to those of smoking 15 cigarettes a day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, Dr. David Camacho, a scholar in gerontology whose published research focuses on adverse effects of aging on minoritized older adults, said that isolation does not always constitute loneliness, and that a few relationships can go a long way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not about the number of family members, it\u2019s about the quality of family members. So [older adults] don\u2019t need 20,000 relationships, they may only need one,\u201d Camacho said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Explore Maison d’\u00catre<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maison d’\u00catre is dressed head-to-toe in decor, mostly artwork sourced from friends throughout the years. A number of decorative themes run throughout the house including undersea creatures, Buddhas and lizards. How many can you spot?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Click around to take a closer look, turn your volume up for audio clips and make sure to step into the backyard!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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