Belonging Without Booze<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\nKate Danaj started cutting back on her drinking over six years ago after realizing it was taking a toll on her feelings of well-being. Periods of abstinence like Lent and Dry January left Danaj feeling significantly better and eventually led her to stop drinking alcohol altogether about 3 years ago.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhen you feel really passionate about a movement like how great being alcohol free makes you feel, you want others to join you,\u201d Danaj exclaimed. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And so she went online in search of communities and groups of people who also didn’t drink alcohol. The only things that she found were Alcoholic Anonymous meetings, which Danaj didn’t personally relate to, and an online community in Australia called Hello Sunday where people could chat about sobriety and feel normal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThere was nothing in the US that I could find, and of course now everywhere you look there’s some kind of group and sober curiosity is a more of a mainstream term but back then there really wasn’t much. So it was really exciting to see it become this revolution and people just be so embracing of it,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Meeting other like-minded women who also didn’t drink was important for Danaj to feel she “wasn’t alone in [not drinking].\u201d She looked for others making “mindful choices and cutting alcohol out of their lives” and found connection in “other women who got together to do things that were not just going out to bars or a boozy brunch.” <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Eventually her search led her to Sans Bar Academy, an online educational program for those looking to build an alcohol-free business. For Danaj, this was Clarity Zero Proof, a private and pop-up alcohol-free events company in the Los Angeles South Bay. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThe idea was to help people see how alcohol-free living could be beautiful and intentional and it wasn’t really a compromise because you could have awesome drinks and you’d feel great,\u201d she said. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Danaj actively sought out local events she had attended in the past such as the White Night White Light Gala and Manhattan Beach Wine Auction to ask if she could host a table with alcohol-free products. She would provide tastings for those in attendance that were sober, designated drivers or simply sober curious and choosing not to drink. <\/p>\n\n\n\n\u201cThey came to my table and they were like, \u2018Thank you so deeply for being here, I would only have had water if you weren’t here.\u2019 They were the people who just kept coming back and forth to my table the whole night and I would just give them a huge pour of whatever it was I was serving and they were so grateful. It was just the most meaningful thing I’ve ever done,\u201d Danaj said.<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote><\/figure>\n\n\n\nThe sober curious lifestyle draws in people for a number of different reasons \u2013 from health and wellness motivations, alcohol abuse and excessive use concerns and as a way to save money \u2013 but beneath them all is a feeling of intentionality. <\/p>\n\n\n\nFor Anne Fishkin, it was a combination of things that led her to stop drinking. \u201cIt’s really just about figuring out what is helping you grow and what’s standing in your way. I think for me booze was standing in my way. Like yes, it was kind of fun having a cool martini, but then I would have a headache and anxiety for three days. And I asked myself, \u2018is this really worth it?\u2019 I’m wasting my time and money.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Historically, being fully \u201csober\u201d means not drinking any alcohol or taking any drugs so Fishkin feels that the sober curious approach is appealing to more people because it allows for a \u201cgray area\u201d where an individual can tailor their drinking patterns to their specific goals and needs. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
While at first she just wanted to focus on her own habits, Fishkin\u2019s involvement in the movement grew when she connected with her friend, Elizabeth Gascoigne, the founder of Absence of Proof, a non-alcoholic events company based in New York. In 2022, Fishkin became the director of marketing and events for the Los Angeles branch of Absence of Proof. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
For her, the purpose of these events is \u201cto have a space where people can have a great time and have a night out without feeling shame around not drinking or meeting people. I think connection and community is so important and especially when you’re going through whatever it is that you’re going through. It’s just really nice to have a cool space and project where you know everyone is showing up without a veil, nobody’s hung over, nobody’s masked by alcohol.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSo, I would say people come because they want to learn something, they want to meet like-minded people, they want that sense of community, they also want to just have a great fun time. The whole point of having events is so you can still go out and have an amazing night and you don’t need booze,\u201d Fiskin added.<\/p>\n\n\n\n