Entering this world comes with a price: an expiration date. We don’t know when, where or why, but it’s there.
“I was told I had six months to live, 10 years ago,” Amos Kotomori said.
Years before his prognosis, Kotomori went to his doctor, pointed to painful areas and left without any signs of concern — he was healthy.
It took three years for his body to show a visible sign of sickness. Blood-stained urine quickly brought him to a specialist that diagnosed him with stage four cancer in his colon, bladder and hip. He had three days to prepare for an invasive surgery that would cut from his bellybutton to the groin, removing 17 lymph nodes, parts of his bladder and hip bone. Being a product of the East, raised in the West, it’s easy to entertain the “what ifs” of the past. But Kotomori prioritized living over worrying about life. Instead of resting up before his surgery, Kotomori had a horizonal list of things he wanted to do over the next three days.
Kotomori stands outside his home, holding his mother’s prayer beads, wearing one of his shirt designs dyed in turmeric
He flew to Kauai the next morning to spend the weekend cooking meals for 50 musicians at a music workshop. When he returned home, he visited his mother, who suffered with dementia and Parkinson’s disease, and told her he would see her in a month.
Three years ago, his Western doctor failed to see the cancer he sensed within, but Kotomori laid down, numb from the chest down that Monday, whole heartedly trusting his path.
“You never know what’s going to happen one inch in front of your nose.”
It was a countdown from fifty-four 24-hour-long sessions of chemotherapy.
Inhale the white.
Exhale the black.
A mixture of Eastern and Western practice fought for his destiny to live.
In 2020, Hawaii took first for healthiest state in the U.S., and currently has the lowest COVID death and case numbers per 100,000 people. While most states do not have the advantage of good air quality and year-round access to sunny outdoor activity, the state also boasts a population of over 37% Asian, 10% Native Hawaiian, 10% Latino and 24% have two or more races. The unique racial and cultural diversity creates an environment that balances both Eastern and Western medical practice.
Hong Kong and Japan are the two countries with the highest life expectancy in the world. According to Dr. Eunjoo Pacifici, Eastern medicine focuses on enhancing the natural defenses to prevent diseases, while Western medicine focuses on identifying the cause of a diseases and countering with drugs and interventional therapies.
Between 3000-2000 B.C., Buddhism and Taoism influenced the creation of Traditional Chinese Medicines (TCM), one of the oldest systems of medicine. Nan Jing or “The Yellow Emperor’s Canon of 81 Difficult Issues,” is used as one of the foundational texts for TCM, discussing sphygmology – knowledge of the pulse, exploring channels and collaterals, explaining viscera organs, analyzing diseases and ailments, focusing on acupoints and the last chapters unpacking acupuncture.
According to Pacifici, one of the basic tenets of TCM is the body’s vital energy that radiates through channels connected to organs that influence the body’s function.
She said Western drugs reflect the regulations set by the Food and Drug Administration. Unlike Eastern countries, herbs, roots and other TCM cannot be marketed in the US promising health benefits without FDA drug approval.
“The FDA rule of thumb is that drugs are considered unsafe until proven safe and supplements are considered safe until considered unsafe,” Pacifici said.
So, while a quarter of China’s population regularly takes TCMs for their health benefits, Americans do not have easy access or the education to know what types of medicinal plants can help.
Through commercials, educators and doctors, children in America have learned that Tylenol helps reduce a fever, Pepto Bismol aids tummy pain and Motrin alleviates pain. But why do most children not think of Yin Qiao Jie Du San (honeysuckle and forsythia powder) to reduce fever, ginger tea for tummy pain or accupunture for pain?
It all comes back to the Western regulation of Eastern medicine. In 2020, the U.S. ranked 36 of 38 for child wellness. Similarly to the Chinese philosophy of yin and yang, East and West benefit most in balance.
Half the battle is showing up: occupational and physical wellness
Nine years ago, Eric Rosso lost his wife to cancer. His healing journey began when he decided to take action.
“There’s a lot of things that are just not in your control, he said. “But there’s a lot of things you can take control of and say, ‘this is not serving me, I need to do something different.’”
He found yoga in 2013, and through movement and work, he created a life he loves. Nothing in the world for Rosso is ever a straight line. When he first started practicing yoga, conscious breathing became a part of his routine.
Rosso sits on the sand at Magic Island, starting his moment with meditation.
“Breath is everything — that is the power cycle to go inward.”
Instead of hearing his breath quicken when things became more challenging, it slowed throughout his meditation in movement. At the end of his yoga practice, Rosso lies in Savasana or corps pose, receiving waves of thoughts and creative ideas, inspiring his work on and off the mat.
Rosso holds side plank while flowing through his morning Sun B.
Now as a part-owner of a 6-month-old yoga studio, Rosso hopped on an opportunity to extend his practice with his community.
For Kotomori, his idea of healing never matched the words of his doctor.
“Slow down and rest.”
But Kotomori could not launch his first designer collection of silk shirts at Nieman Marcus while receiving chemotherapy at the hospital, so he hid the bag under his shirt. He couldn’t coordinate a runway in the largest outdoor mall in the world and dress twenty models for 10 fashion shows from his bed, so he showed up.
He couldn’t let go of his work or movement, so he didn’t.
To this Kotomori continues listening to messages that guide his life.
“COVID to me is a blessing, because it really was a message for me to listen to my, to listen to the gut, the instincts, and everything because had I not listened to it, I would have been in Milan, in January,” Kotomori said. “I don’t think I would have returned.”
A year prior to the pandemic, Kotomori began working on the biggest business endeavor of his life. He was going to have his fabric woven in China and India, sewn up in Bangladesh and Bangkok, printed in Milan and shipped back to America.
“But something constantly told me it wasn’t right. And it wasn’t.”
Move into the natural world: intellectual and social wellness
Deep in the rain forests of Mānoa Valley in Honolulu, Phyllis Look guides people through a forest bathing. The practice developed in Japan in the 1980’s has proven health benefits and counters the dismal 87% of time the average American stays indoors.
Look stops to admire the water droplets dancing on the taro leaf.
According to Look, the first hurdle to surpass before forest bathing is the mind.
“I think we should be skeptical, but also be curious and open minded,” Look said.
She begins her walk by explaining the history of the land and walks her group through a check-in of their senses: What do you hear, taste, smell, see and feel?
Awaken the body by activating your awareness.
Before moving, everyone sits in a circle with an open invitation to share how they are feeling. Once the walk begins, she asks everyone to notice what’s in motion. Actively thinking about their surroundings, the leaves quiver, water dances and the sun falls.
Everything slows.
For the next hour, the time is spent collectively as a group. It’s time for spontaneous play, working together to create, move and feel the energy around.
The walk ends in a “sit spot” when everyone sits still for 20 minutes thinking of the journey they’ve experienced.
Pointing toward the natural art found in every plant, Look gently moves her finger across the plant creating a washboard-like sound.
Kotomori begins every morning in his “sit spot” (although he’s usually standing) under the stars. Each day begins with gratitude and prayer.
“Only in Hawaii, growing up everyone was aunty, uncle, grandma, grandpa, gung gung, popo, habuji, ahmani. I never knew what it meant, only that they were family and they treated me like their own.”
Both Kotomori’s parents passed and he has no children to carry his genetic legacy, however, he holds joyful memories near and makes sure that everyone in his circle, and beyond, feel his love.
Often when walking down Peter St. you might smell an apple banana pie or decadent coconut brownies fresh out of the oven. Kotomori bakes for the people he loves, walking his neighbor’s dogs while leaving dessert surprises in the mailboxes of friends.
“It’s about living with gratitude and making what I have enough to share. I am enough.”
Make right within yourself: spiritual and emotional wellness.
Lomi lomi healing begins with pule or prayer to whichever creator they believe in. Kaliko Chang remembers his uncle working on his injuries when he was young and knew that someday he wanted to do the same.
While lomi lomi is a traditional Hawaii massage, it’s the spiritual connection that lays out the foundation, inviting a person to heal.
Chang said you can do tons of lomi lomi massage sessions, but if you don’t ho’oponopono or forgive before the sun sets that day, the healing won’t be complete.
“If they didn’t let go or go through the process of forgiveness, then they’ll go to sleep and that tightness in the body will constrict everything and they’ll be all sore again,” Chang said.
Emotions determine your growth.
On Sept 29 1947 at 2:34 a.m. a Buddhist priest gave Kotomori his middle name: Sadamu meaning to never fail, like a Japanese daruma that always stands up.
Buddhism is not a religion. For Kotomori, it’s a philosophy of living in the moment. Instead of holding on to the challenges he’s faced in the west, he makes everything he has enough. He follows the path illuminated by his ancestors.
A dog howls to signal the presence of a spirit, a bird chirps to relay a message and a crying baby is reliving a past story. Eighty-eight gods and goddesses protect Kotomori, so he takes risks — standing on the ledge of the Grand Canyon, wearing a full-length fur coat down a runway in the Paris house of Dior and building Villa Bodhi, a bed and breakfast in Bali, while recuperating from cancer surgery.
“Things happen, they unfold and we always have a choice to take a chance or not,” Kotomori said. “I have nothing to lose and everything to gain by just taking a breath.”
Finding Pono: balancing a life well lived
“There’s nothing more sacred or profound than having a patient or family member entrust their life to me.”
– Dr. Melvin Palalay
Dr. Melvin Palalay, Kotomori’s current oncologist was brought up in a Catholic household. Growing in the shadow of his mother, a nurse practitioner, she set the example of selfless giving to others.
While Palalay said he doesn’t agree with every part of Catholicism, he holds two scriptures as his guiding tenets: “treat others the way you want to be treated” and “to much has been given, much will be requested.”
Palalay describes his work’s core as science rooted in fundamental understanding. When he looks back at his time in medical school at Creighton University, his education focused on Western medicine, glazing over Eastern holistic medical practices.
At his graduation, he took the Hippocratic Oath knowing he was beginning an imperfect profession.
“There’s mystery to medicine. It’s not perfect,” Palalay said.
Despite the uncertainties, Palalay prioritizes education when diagnosing and recommending treatments. The final decision is never his.
Over the years, he said most of his treatment recommendations come from similar cases of randomized controlled trials. When he thinks of his work without Western medicine, he thinks back to the HIV/AIDS epidemic. At the time, he said contracting the virus was a death sentence. Now, many people can live the entirety of their lives with medication.
And while Palalay said he believes in the benefits of Eastern healing practices, he looks back to a patient in his 60’s that had an early stage of throat cancer. He did not want to go forward with Palalay’s treatment suggestions. Instead, he decided to change his habits. He changed his diet, exercise and daily routine, but each time Palalay saw him the cancer had spread more. He watched a preventable sickness slowly take his patient’s life.
So when thinking about the future of medicine, Palalay believes in balance.
“I’m on a path guided by God,” he said.
When Kotomori looks ahead to his next life, he thinks of water:
“To be part of the h2o cycle, to be a sparkle in a rainbow, to nourish a bodhi tree, to be a dewdrop on a lotus blossom turning into a diamond in the morning light, to be a wave, a mist, a teardrop from laughing too much, is another life.“
The six pillars of wellness: intellectual, physical, spiritual, occupational, emotional and social carry equal weight. The common ground between Rosso, Look, Chang and Kotomori: pono or balance. Rosso eats two meals a day and the only rule he has is that one of those meals must be vegetarian. Look said her health depends on her time alone and her time with others. Chang practices as both a lomi lomi healer and a behavioral psychologist. Palalay gives his best recommendations, but allows his patients to make the final decision.
Kotomori is a product of the east, thriving in the west.
The common thread: constant efforts toward finding balance.
