VAL ON SEX POSITIVITY, TRANS FETISHIZATION, AND THE SOCIAL CURRENCY OF RELATIONSHIPS
Val likes to joke that she’s been able to date every type of human being on the planet. As a bisexual trans woman, she feels like she’s pretty much covered all bases.
Perhaps this is what’s allowed her to develop an uncommonly optimistic outlook on modern dating.
It’s easy to be cynical about what dating apps and social media have done to romance. And while Val recognizes some of the pitfalls of contemporary courtship, there’s also no denying there’s been a lot of headway.
SEX POSITIVITY
“I don’t think any other generation thinks of love and relationships as openly as we do,” said Val. “Our generation’s just going for it. I love it. It’s something we’re doing right.”
Val has seen many of the people she’s dated deconstruct their ideas of sexuality and gender. “People now are stepping out of their comfort zones and doing things that have become less stigmatized.”
“I’m a very sex positive person. I think that as long as you’re dong it safely and as long as it’s between two consenting adults and everyone’s on the same page… go for it! It’s fun! It’s a beautiful thing, it’s a human thing.”
Val Díaz
Of course, discussions of sexual freedom today often look very different than they did thirty years ago. “As goes the fate for many feminist victories,” said Roberson, “Patriarchal society is able to warp sexual freedom for women into sexual accessibility for men—often without regard to consent.”
TRANS FETISHIZATION
“Apps have been my main avenue for dating, mainly because it’s easier for me to disclose the fact that I’m trans. They allow me to have access to people in a way that makes me physically safe, because in person, people often don’t take it well, and sometimes they can even get violent.”
Val Díaz
SOCIAL CURRENCY
In 2015, Pew Research Center conducted a study among teens in relationships. One of their main findings was that teens often find social media is inextricably tied with their relationships. Pew dubbed this ‘The Publicness Paradox’: many teens use social media to publicly express affection for their partner, even as they feel their relationships are too visible to others.
“Young people today are walking through this meta-virtual reality world,” said Roberson. “They’re not just living moments, they’re planning moments to look back on them.”
But Gen-Z are acutely aware of how social media has affected their worldview.
Regarding relationships, specifically, many feel like it has made romance feel like a performance.
“Our generation’s constantly thinking ‘how can I make my relationship increase my social capital?” said Val. “And I think that’s weird as hell.”
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