Growing up with a father who was serving a 12-year prison sentence for a non-violent offense, USC senior Anyé Young experienced an immense amount of isolation and a loss of self-esteem. “When you go through life, and your parent has been incarcerated, it’s not just grief that experiencing. You’re grieving what you lost of yourself. You have to be constantly reinforcing yourself, and that’s incredibly hard. Navigating through that grief, you will go through cycles over and over again” Young said.

We, as a society, often hear the stories of those who were or formally are incarcerated. We hear their experiences, struggles, and perspectives either in the media or through another outlet. However, an often neglected perspective, equally significant to the narrative, remains unheard – the children of those incarcerated.

The United States prison system currently holds almost 2 million incarcerated individuals, having the highest rate of imprisonment in the world. Within this, nearly half of those incarcerated are parents of minor children. ANNALS of the American Academy of Political and Social Science stated that the number of children with an incarcerated parent grew five times from 1980 to 2012. Often known as “hidden victims,” these children endure many emotional, mental, and physical challenges.

Another study, done by The San Francisco Children of Incarcerated Parents Partnership, claimed that around 70% of children who were present when their parent was arrested, watched that parent being handcuffed. When a loved one becomes incarcerated, the surrounding family members experience trauma, shame, and isolation. Not to mention, these same children have a higher chance of developing mental health problems, such as depression, PTSD, and anxiety.

Source/Anyé Young

Many children like Young, lose a source of income when one of their parents goes into the system. They are reliant on a single-parent salary to support themselves. “I didn’t have the resources to be able to confidently say that I could do what I wanted to do without having to go to college. I have to excel and succeed in college. I have to. I have like I have to work 10 times as harder as the next person to be where I want to be,” she said.

Teen Guide to Living with Incarcerated Parents: Book by Anyé Young

Growing up wasn’t easy for Young. Like many other children who experienced parental incarceration, she felt stigma when talking about her father. “For most of my life it felt like more so like embarrassing to admit, or just shameful, or as though it was like you know my fault. I thought I’d be looked at as like a criminal in training because I had a parent in prison,” she said. “It felt like the odds were just very much stacked against me,” she added.

However, she didn’t let the shame define her. At just 16 years old, she self-published her book, Teen Guide to Living with Incarcerated Parents. In this book, she communicates her experiences with parental incarceration and empowers children in similar situations to not let their past define their future. The book also touches on advice Young would give to single parents raising children with incarcerated parents. “You are not your parents. You are not living your life for your parents, family, friends, or anyone but yourself. You don’t have to know who you are. You will constantly change every day. You change every single day with everything,” Young added.

Not only did she self-publish her book, but she also produced a documentary dedicated to young adults who the criminal justice system has impacted. She maintained one of the highest GPAs of her class and was awarded a full-ride scholarship to the University of Southern California. Young is now a senior at USC, majoring in Dramatic Arts.

The Wounds Can Heal

The emotional impact of parental incarceration can be extremely detrimental to a child’s development. According to a study done by sociologist Kristin Turney, from the University of California - Irvine, children with an incarcerated parent were more than three times more likely to suffer from behavioral problems or depression than children who do not have incarcerated parents.

However, there is hope. An organization in San Rafael, California sees the value of these stories. They wish to hear these young individuals' stories and remind them they are not alone. Natasha Blakely has seen this outcome herself. Growing up with a father who had been incarcerated, she saw the emotional strain the absence of a parent has on a child and wanted to help others with a similar expierence. Blakely is currently the community outreach advisor at Project Avary, a non-profit dedicated to mentoring youth who have been affected by parental incarceration. This non-profit organization attempts to break the cycle of incarceration and help disadvantaged youth. She devoted her work towards Project Avary, where she can see firsthand how listening to others can help a child in need. “There is a future to incarceration that does not have to be the child’s outcome,” Blakely said.

There are many children who feel alone, who feel responsible for the crimes that their parents have committed. “A lot of times there is a stigma that comes with incarceration, and many children feel judged for the crimes that they did not commit,” said Blakely. All of Project Avary’s counselors have been affected by parental incarceration, allowing them to form true bonds with their students. “All of the counselors that work at Project Avary all have what we call a share common bond with the youth, and that is, we also have loved ones that have been incarcerated,” she said.

The organization teaches life skills that the youth might not have learned from being affected by parental incarceration – like driving a car and balancing a checkbook. “A lot of times it’s just about speaking life into them and helping them to see that they can become whatever they wish to become. A lot of our kids have parents who haven’t been to college and now they see a different opportunity.”

Often, children need an outlet to share their hardships to feel like they are not alone. Eric Almeida was a former camper in Project Avary. Once he went through the program, he wished to be a counselor himself. “Project Avary was the first time I realized that there were other people outside of my family circle that were experiencing having a family member, specifically, incarcerated parents. It was a very eye-opening and comforting experience,” Almeida said. “I wasn’t alone,” he added.

Eric Almeida - Source/Project Avary

This organization changed Almeida’s life. “Most of Project Avary’s model is just based on connection. Giving them a community that they could come to where they feel safe. They feel heard and have a space to share their experience. I think giving them that opportunity to do so, giving them a space where they feel comfortable, they feel their word will be reciprocated, it just feels welcoming,” he said.

Even in just a six-week online course, these children feel like they have an outlet to be themselves. “It’s amazing to see the growth. When kids came in, you could tell they were timid and scared of talking. Then after just six weeks, they became comfortable with telling their stories. They did not feel isolated or alone anymore,” Blakely said. “With the proper support, these kids with incarcerated parents can bloom and become more comfortable in their own skin. This fuels them to see past the limits that they put on themselves,” she said.

Looking Onwards

Hearing Young's story and supporting organizations like Project Avary are the first steps in the right direction, but more work must be done. To touch on policing, legislators must take action and introduce policies to exonerate those who have been incarcerated for low-level offenses. Prison Policy Initiative states, 1 in 4 incarcerated individuals are currently in prison for misdemeanors, civil infractions, and low-level drug offenses.

There must be training for law enforcement to improve their arrest protocols. Children’s loved ones are often taken away from their homes, offering little room for consoling. According to the San Francisco Children of Incarcerated Parents Partnership, there are many measures law enforcement can take to ensure the child is protected. One way is to avoid using sirens and lights in non-emergency situations. The parent can also speak to the child before they get arrested, to make sure the child understands the situation. The U.S. needs to move towards rehabilitation instead of punishment.