Some 3,000 miles from home in 2013, 19-year-old Sam Borst-Smith sat in a hospital bed fighting back tears. It wasn’t the gangrenous appendicitis that brought him to tears though — he had just gotten a call that his Division I basketball offer had been given to another player because of his illness.
Borst-Smith had come to New Jersey, far from his hometown in Los Angeles, to take an extra year at The Lawrenceville School before college to grow and improve his game. Since he was four years old, he wanted to play basketball at a high level. The plan was to attend prep school, get better, play Division I and ultimately play professionally.
He seemed well on his way throughout high school at Palos Verdes Peninsula, performing well when needed and receiving consistent praise in the local press. He just needed one more year to develop before playing in college, then the plan would be on the way. But the plan changed when Borst-Smith got sick halfway through his year at prep school.
“I’m in the hospital. They dropped my scholarship and they gave it to someone else. In the moment, that sucked,” Borst-Smith said. “I was tearing up in a hospital with like five stabs in my stomach from the surgery I had.”
Suddenly, the original plan was no longer within reach. Borst-Smith, rather than dwelling on what could have or should have been, pivoted. He decided to play Division III basketball instead at the University of Rochester. Though not ideal at the time, Borst-Smith said the detour led him to the right place.
“It turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me,” Borst-Smith said. “I met so many of my closest friends. We had that shot that went viral. I got my first job because I went to Rochester. I ended up being an All-American.”
Despite the alternate route, Borst-Smith would find his way to professional basketball after all — just not in the way he expected. In July 2017, just two months after graduating college, Borst-Smith boarded a plane to Dusseldorf, Germany, where a spot on the ART Giants Duesseldorf, a German professional team, awaited him. However, his time in Dusseldorf was short-lived. After less than a month, Borst-Smith decided to hang up his jersey and return home.
“Long story short, nothing bad happened at all. The players were great. The coach was great… It was just more so I got there and my gut was telling me, ‘this isn’t for you, it’s time to hang it up,’ which was not what I was expecting whatsoever,” Borst-Smith said. “I prayed about it and realized, this is okay; it’s time to come back. I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone say, ‘I wish I didn’t go with my gut.’ So I went with my gut.”
The decision seems easy in hindsight. Borst-Smith felt it wasn’t right, so he stopped playing. Unfortunately, the decision is never that easy for someone whose life has revolved around the game.
“Sam was basketball. I was an absolute psycho about it growing up. I was the kid in high school who wasn’t going to parties. I was the kid who was just really focused on getting better. Honestly, basketball was me and it definitely stood out from a lot of people because I wasn’t the ‘norm’ when it comes to just your typical high school guy,” Borst-Smith said. “It was my life, still is. I was absolutely engulfed in basketball and I do miss it, honestly.”
Borst-Smith managed to stay connected to sports even after retiring. Two years after his return from Dusseldorf, he started working for the Los Angeles Clippers in partnership strategy, despite his loyalties as a self-proclaimed “diehard Laker fan.”
“I guess you can say I made it to the NBA at some point because I did end up working for the Clippers for a little bit,” Borst-Smith joked.
Now, Borst-Smith works as an account executive for Apple at Optimum Sports, where he coordinates all things Apple and sports. Though he manages to keep in touch with the game in his day job, he still experienced a tough transition out of basketball.
“It’s definitely calmed down significantly since the first, I’d say two to three years. But the transition is hard. You do feel a bit lost at first,” Borst-Smith said. “I actually put on a little bit of weight, which is weird because I’m the skinny guy. I’ve always been like the frail one out of our friend group and everything, I’m not kidding, everything hurts.”
Five years removed from professional ball, Borst-Smith misses the sport that once defined him.
“I would say the biggest thing is the mental aspect of things. It’s not like you’ve lost your purpose, but again, your identity is everything. When you’re a basketball player, you absolutely love it. You fall in love with the game. It’s your first love and it always will be,” Borst-Smith said. “It was a hard transition, but thankfully for me, I had a lot of great friends, a lot of great family members who helped me along the way. I’m still continuing to get back to something I truly love as much as I love basketball, which is easier said than done, but it gets better with time.”
Borst-Smith says that his faith has guided him through difficult times, both in and out of basketball. One year ago, Borst-Smith had what was thought to be a random seizure in his sleep, but what turned out to be a brain tumor that was removed one month ago. He says that although he has the wisdom now that everything happens for a reason, he was not always so certain.
“I wish I was more confident in the fact that things were supposed to happen the way they are. You can look at it on a really minute scale. You could look at it on a larger scale. But things happened the way they are supposed to be. It makes things a lot easier if you have that belief,” Borst-Smith said. “And for me, that’s magnified, especially within the last year. And I just wish I had that when I was at Peninsula or when I was at Lawrenceville.”
So even as Borst-Smith continues to adjust to life without his first love, he appreciates the journey he took to get here.
“You’ve gotta look at the long game. If I never went [to Germany], I would have been sitting here like, ‘What if I was playing for FC Barcelona?’” Borst-Smith said. “Well, no, because: A, I wasn’t ever that good. B, I went there, I didn’t like it. I have closure, no regrets.”